Updating

Now that the "cat is out of the bag" I want to put into words how I'm feeling and what has been happening.  I wrote a little when my kids were babies and I love reading it to remind it of things really were.

We are expecting baby number 3 in August.  This is a surprise baby for us (but never a surprise for God.)  Yes, over the past 9 years, we've played "Russian Roulette" many times but I never really thought I would get pregnant again.  Over the past 9 years I've also gone back and forth between wanting more children and being content with the two beautiful ones we have.  I've prayed about being content and for the past few years, I have been content.  So I say that God has a sense of humor.  He gave me contentment and then had me get pregnant.

There is more fear that I am feeling than I would like to be.  But the fears are so different than the first two times.  I'm older, at an age that doctors usually consider advanced for pregnancy, although many women are having babies later in life.  I will be saying no to the tests doctors like to perform simply due to age.  The tests won't change my feelings about this life inside of me.  I love this baby already.  I'm overweight and out of shape.  My stamina is not as good as when I was younger. 

I want a healthy baby but I don't fear if the baby isn't "perfect".  Not the way I did with the first two.  For years, I've used the phrase "Well, if we had a third then I would do xyz differently."  I wonder if this is true.  I fear I won't be as patient.  I fear lack of sleep. 

I'm scared about the change a new baby will bring to our family.  It will be a big change, in most ways, I think more than when the first two were born. 

But I am working on giving those fears to God.  I need not fear because everything is in His hands and His control.  His ways are perfect. 

And now for something light--pictures from Christmas time.

First up, pictures taken with my family Christmas gathering.

Christmas Eve at my sister-in-law's house:

Christmas morning: